...I'm autistic.
Like, yeah. "high functioning" autistic. [whatever that means]
I've been diagnosed and rediagnosed numerous times.

When I actually try to talk to people about this, I get reactions along one of two paths:
That I actually should have been diagnosed with asperger's [no, not really. how I function NOW came from working really hard at it and I didn't talk until pretty darn late.]

OR, more often, I'm wrong. My doctors, even the experts in the field, were/are wrong. All the neuro testing is wrong. All the things that were apparent as a kid, wrong. My difficulties that i experience even now but work really hard to accomodate and move around? WRONG.

So like, I end up defending my diagnosis instead of being able to talk about my experience.

I am completely invalidated in every way because I don't resemble rainman, but have worked really hard to make the world something I can move around in, and so I must be wrong or [my favorite:] LYING FOR ATTENTION.

Most of the time?
This is from people who don't know their *** from their elbow when it comes to psych in general, developmental issues specifically.

it's very very frustrating.
So now, I don't talk about it very often at all.

It's really only the past several months that I will talk about it at all but in a limited capacity.

But that means that part of me kind of didn't exist for a long time and to a great extent still is neglected. So I have little to no support for many of the challenges I encounter.

But it's not a big deal because I pass, haha.

People don't understand that for those of us on the spectrum, "passing" takes like most of our energy everyday, whereas "passing" for an NT takes very little effort on their part.

Like, I haven't gone entirely nonverbal for a few years, so I'm completely average, yeah?
HA