yes here I am again. But these are serious questions. >.>

Ok so from multiple people, primarily other single guys, they've sid time and again to stop letting myself fall into the spell of women that end up flirting and then when I fall, I fall flat on my face as they step out of the way. I know that this is 99% my own fault because. well. EMOTIONS! Being BPD, I suffer from many things that makes it hard to avoid this.. but I need to.

So... they say to stop caring so much about the attention you get and not to let on that I'm really interested. Some guys and one of my friends said that even being "mean" works. well. truth be told, I can't see myself going that far but what of this casual attitude? Is that true? Does that make women more attracted to men? I would never outright treat a lady badly but even just being a bit more relaxed about it is very difficult for me.

Something I realized though. I thought about this and tell me if I'm accurate here. Being interested, and not showing it so passionately or so openly is not necessarily being disingenuine? I always have a battle going on in this area, in that I've always thought that if I wasn't quite such an easy "catch" for them they might take to chasing me more but at the same time I'm at odds with it because I've always felt I would be being deceitful. I have fought for so many years as a submissive type person that goes along with everyone, to find my own way so it's hard for me to go against the natural way I am. Does that make sense?

Anyway I'm just wondering, especially from the ladies, is this more attractive to women, for a guy to just kind of "not care"? That is without being rude or cocky.

Just curious.