You say, "Love is a choice we make".

That's very true. But there is so much more going on than just making a meaningless choice. That choice is based on what you're telling youself about the person you are choosing to Love. There is an almost subconscious internal dialog you're having with yourself thats going on inside your own mind that compels the choice you are making.

Well, the same thing is happening inside your mind every time you notice a woman is flirting with you... You begin making choices inside your mind. There are things you tell yourself about the situation... there is that almost subconscious dialog you have with yourself whenever someone flirts... "Hey, she's flirting with me! She's really hot! She likes me... she want's me to flirt back with her... I'll give her a smile to let her know that I know she's flirting..." I don't know, you can be saying any number of such things to yourself... and those thoughts usually happens at the speed of light... almost imperceptible.

Instead of focusing on the outward personna that you want to present, I just wonder if you didn't pay more attention to the things you tell yourself about how you react to the flirtation that you might get a better handle of why you misinterpret and misjudge HOW to react. You react now, but do you know why you're doing what you're doing and exactly what the message is you're sending? Are you really reading the message she's sending correctly?

I think if you just slow things down and give it more introspeciton and meaningful thought beforehand you might be less inclined to, as you said."fall flat on my face".

I dunno. Just a passing thought.

Dan