She was busy. That was it. She had a rough day with one of the other clients who started screaming at her. That triggered me on its own. I managed to talk to her enough to tell her that I'm scared of losing her. Everyone was talking about how the program will run through the holidays so the fact that she won't be there next week was already on my mind. I got all worked up when I told her how I felt and started bawling. She was a little frustrated and was kinda short with me and it was a mess. She told me she is overwhelmed and needs space.

And the thing is that I don't feel rejected. I don't feel like she hates me because of this. I recognize that I was being too much and she had been basically hounded all day. I should have been more empathetic. I got upset because whenever she puts up boundaries, I'm reminded me that she will never be my mother and I re-experience that loss. And it's really really painful. I cried so hard my nose started bleeding.

As much as I really don't want our relationship to change to a one a week setting, maybe it's for the best. Maintaining boundaries is just too difficult in this situation and I get led on by everything.