Er... I'll give this a shot?
First, disclosure:
After the initial post I didn't read any of the others.
sorry

I've gotten the impression that if there is any kind of bell curve regarding "typical" expectations, conduct or communication style amongst dating females, I would like fall far to either end.

I might agree with this, depending on the day, how honest I am being with myself or anyone else and how hard Special Snowflake Syndrome happens to be manifesting at that particular moment.

That said...

I've pretty much always been really, sometimes shockingly, honest with people.

It gets mixed results, but usually gets me where I need to be eventually.
But that doesn't mean that I am not very protective of myself.
i can tell someone that I am really attracted to them, drawn to them, even that I might be falling in love with them [a lot of the time I don't know until i turn around and realize "wait I have actually BEEN in love with them for some time"]... but then again, maybe I haven't even been in love yet? [ok let's not open that can of worms....]

But I can also express that I need to have some sense and logic about the whole thing, that I don't agree that like, exverything should be sacrificed for this notion of love.

Just because I get a tingly feeling whenever I talk to someone, it doesn't mean I can trust them implicitly and I make that perfectly clear.

Trust, dependability, communication, understanding [not always the same as communication], enjoyment and tolerance of eachother, ability to support and BE SUPPORTED by one another, knowing how to say what you need and find out what the other person needs...

That all takes time. Lots of it.

So you can throw out there that "WOW YOU KNOCK MY SOCKS OFF" but you can also hold back at the same time and be smart about passion, which may seem impossible.

So, you don't have to be stand offish. At all.
But it's harder to get hurt when you understand that, no matter what the Beatles say, Love is not all you need.

When you start to grow up, it's not.

And having been through a long term relationship that didn't work out already, s4ndm4n2006, you probably know that.

but I'm saying it for everyone who just throws all they have at something because they feel starry eyed, over and over and over.

Then feel heartbroken. over and over and over.

If you have questions, ask.
if you have doubts, give it time.

Don't hide your feelings, but don't let them control your destiny.
That's how you get lost.

From what you say, OP, it seems like you are much smarter than being constantly yanked around by women who are not genuine or who want to hide behind "oh I didn't know you felt that way".

Also... I've pretty much always done the "build intimacy by way of friendship first" thing.
It seems to work out so much better.

RE: girls like bad boys.

Most bad boys are so much less intelligent than they think they are.
Also, they think they can get more by taking advantage of people in a negative way- see? stupid. "bad boys" are mildly entertaining for a time.

The good ones are worth more than gold.
Women who don't understand this probably don't have their priorities in order.

Most of the ones who do, in my experience, know when you are putting on a show as well.