Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey Matter
I saw someone say how women want to "change a mans world" or something along those lines. Sound eerily like the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope.
I am not male or female. I have a partner who I adore, and I think our bond has grown because we both believe in the same things. Such as "You may change part of my life but I will always be me and you will always be you" and "Don't expect me to be the person you see in romcoms" etc. My partner IS a woman and if I were to say "YOU want me to change your life" without any consideration for her and her feelings simply but assuming since she is a girl she MUST need rescuing by my brilliant personality, she would probably stare at me, and whack me with the nearest object in reach.
And I wouldn't blame her.
What I said earlier to you, OP, was not "wait for love to find you" kind of thing, but an urge to be yourself. WE create these dating/love games. WE can also avoid playing them. I think it takes large amounts of respect for not only yourself but for the women you are interested in to just be honest. Why would all women appreciate someone who doesn't seem to care? Or appreciate being "mean"? You don't just start a relationship in a few moments, but first you are friends and you let it become what it will or, sometimes, what it wont.
If you feel like you need to change even small bits of your personality for what ever reason to suit someone else, I'd put off dating for a while and focus on why you feel it is needed at all. Hell, I met my partner because I corrected a teacher. Which is VERY MUCH me.
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Again I would never think being mean would be a good thing and I couldn't or wouldn't do it as a ploy to get a woman to chase me.. was just saying that some have even said that.. as an extreme example.
When I say not care I should clarify. I can be overly emotional and gung ho about a lot of things and I do think it can scare a girl away.. too much too fast is what i mean. i don't mean to say that I would be rude or anything. Just not to jump to hyperdrive every time. Does that make more sense? Again I am me and first thing i want is a lady that would appreciate who I am now... but my emotional overdrive is not necessarily me, it's a behavioral reaction that could be controlled and that's not a bad thing.
Again I don't want to deceive or be anything I'm not and I don't want a girl to change or try to change me. Been there, done that. Not what I want.