Well first off, I can't speak about how the affairs would affect the situation as this is not something that happened in our relationship.

If he doesn't want to talk about it, that makes things much worse. My husband is not thrilled about discussing his ED, but we do talk. He takes cialis which has helped, but sometimes it hasn't worked.

When it first started happening, I told him it's not a big deal and there are other ways for him to please me, which is very true. However, I seem to have to remind him of this because he really feels bad about it. I've had to overcome a lot of my own inhibitions to show him other ways to be intimate. We are still working on it.

For me, what's most problematic is the moodiness that he has when the cialis doesn't work. I really don't care if we move on to other things (like toys), but he sometimes can't get over his 'failure' and just sits in bed and mopes. Talk about killing the mood!

He says he doesn't feel bad for himself, but feels bad for me.

Anyway, I'm not sure how much you can help your husband if he isn't willing to discuss the issue. What has happened when you try?

I'm very tired but maybe you can ask more questions and I can answer them tomorrow.