Quote:
Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81
Growli: I have been reading your posts for a long time. I have kept quiet for one reason and one reason only: the way you "lash out" at certain responses triggers a certain amount anger in me. Not because I think you necessarily hurt people here but because I used to respond the same way to posts I didn't like/agree with for whatever the reason. So, I forced myself to take pause when I felt I was responding more out of anger.
So I have a few things to say:
1) I can't even begin to understand the pain and anger you live as a result of your upbringing as my parents were the complete opposite of yours.
2) I don't agree with all of your choices however I choose to accept you are doing the best you know how at this particular moment.
3) please remember that the majority of responses come from a place of compassion and possibly experience at least that is what I try now to remember when my impulse is to "lash out" in anger. However people will continue to support you despite your lashing out if that's not possible for you right now.
I wish you the best in your therapy journey and that you find some peace and healing along the way.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
I wrote something else where I tried to explain my behavior, but then again, I don't think I need an explanation because a) no one would care and b) what is so wrong about expressing anger? I feel like this society as a whole is so uncomfortable with anger. People get all upset when someone is heating up about something and they want that person to push it away. If I expressed any other emotion, people on here would be applauding me, but anger is intense and scary so therefore wrong. Personally, I love anger. It's a really raw emotion that is easy to access and very empowering when managed in a healthy way. I think writing an angry rant about how my mother failed me in response to someone telling me I had a mother is not me "lashing out". Lashing out would involve me yelling at asia in an inappropriate way that was cruel and hurtful and/or when I was really angry about something else. I did not attack anyone except my mother and my situation in general.
Also, what if I were actually angry at asia? Should I just keep that anger bottled up inside? I shouldn't be aggressive or mean, but if someone upsets me and I value having them as an ally, I'm not going to just hold onto that and hope it goes away or hope that person just picks up on it. I'm going to tell them directly how I feel so that maybe we can reach some sort of resolution. I'm not about making people play mind reader with me.
I know at the end of my rant, I apologized for being angry. But that's not really true. I only apologized because I knew people would react in this way to this and I wanted to be clear that I wasn't angry with anyone but my mother. But I'm really not sorry I ranted about my mother in a heated way. It was empowering to do it and if I feel compelled to do it again, I will because I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying what I feel.
Maybe I'm immature for feeling the way I do about this topic, but hell, I'm 20 years old. I don't want to be totally mature yet. Maturity sounds boring. It sounds like waking up one morning and giving a damn about the stock market or sitting around with a cup of coffee and a suit, grumbling about the fiscal cliff. I don't want that. I want to be full of passion and anger. Why is there anything wrong with that?