Yeah, Secretum, it seems like some people--like myself--generally have a bit of bad luck. I've had a lot of bad things happen to me and when I dwell on them it seems like only bad things happen to me. But then, something will trigger a positive event or a memory of one and I'll realize that I've had some good things happen to me too. Unfortunately my paranoia and schizo has been getting worse and it does seem like I suffer a lot because of it.

So, maybe it's a little of both with you--a little paranoia and a little pessimism. Sometimes I force myself to sit and write about something good in my life--past or present. It helps me keep things in perspective......D.