Hi everyone, im new...

I've been struggling a lot lately. ..everything seems to keep going down hill. Ive struggled with depression since i can remember...i self-harm and have suicidal thoughts... im trying to get better for my sake and my very few friends and family.
I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at 16 & about a year later fibromyalgia. Im constantly in pain, physical and mental.
Lately my job has been going downhill. ..my family life is rough.
I feel so alone...I only have two friends whom im very thankful for. I used to never cry especially in front of others. But lately I can barley keep from crying. Im so tired and don't really feel human.
I feel like a burden, and don't know what to do...

Sorry for rambling on