I don't know if I can really add much to this conversation, but I want to say that I'm very similar to you only my reaction to guys is:

"Oh my God, he was nice to me, treated me like an equal and a person, AND he acts like he cares what I have to say/listens to me?! I must marry him. NOW."

And as soon as something goes "wrong", I get extremely upset and depressed. And possibly even self-harm.

I'm very glad that you don't react to that extreme….

I also wanted to say (like it hasn't been said a million times in this thread) please, please, please don't change yourself. Why? Because more guys should be like you. You know, the whole being nice and actually caring about the girl? Guys being mean is why I'm so emotionally f—ed up. I mean, I expect it now. My expectations are so low that just treating me like a person that matters will probably make me develop a crush on a guy. And yet, I'll still expect to be treated like trash and if I am, I take tally of all the reasons I deserved it. So for goodness sakes, don't be mean.

Also, one question: somewhere on this thread you mentioned coming on too strong (or something similar to that…I can't find it now). Do you mean in an emotional or physical/sexual sort of way?