this was originally posted by fury in creative on 17/08/05 i like it so much i thought i would repost it for your amusement

For all the 'word people' I know and other lovers of drivel to ponder.

Subject: WHY?

The below questions are from a 10 year old kid who drove a Harvard Professor
nuts!


Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they
are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread
is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two
cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra
penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes
you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square
box?

What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the
moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If you
drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? Why are you IN
a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Who was the first person to look
at a cow

and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever
comes out!"
Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think ,"that ought to
taste good"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the
fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile?


If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going
to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why
can't he fix

a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the
time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they
dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from elec trons, does
morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by
a mouse? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an
asteroid when

it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your
butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
window?