Hey. given what you have said it sounds like therapy would be a better approach. it might need to be supplimented with medications or it might not need to be supplimented with medications.

is there any way you could get coverage for therapy? how much do you think you could reasonably afford for therapy? many therapists are willing to see people at reduced rates if the person simply can't afford to pay full rates at present. there can be considerable variation in the rates that different therapists charge and in the expected time frame for therapy.

a cheaper alternative would be for you to try and self-help your way through learning how to do mindfulness meditation / progressive muscle relaxation etc. to try and self-motivate your way through exercising and eating appropriately etc. that can be pretty hard though. most people find they need / do better with a therapist who can help motivate them. it can also help a lot to have a relatively objective point of view. and... someone who you can talk to about your fears.

> I am afraid to let peoploe down, I have a fear of saying something wrong or stupid (recent), I think my entire anxiety actually revolves around a fear of people finding out Im not what they think I am. They expect something and I am not able to perform. When I am is a situation where this becomes an issue, my face goes red, which in turn causes me to feel worse, I start sweating, my heart races, I get light headed, I feel like Im going to pass out sometimes. Oh and my hands have actually started to tremble as a response! How embarrassing. That's an idea of how I feel when its really bad, but as daily issue, I get more of that racing heart and sweating when Im stressed, but that incluses mind blanking. It is hampering my development and growth in everything!

sounds like you are a perfect candidate for therapy :-)

> I also have a paralizing fear of relationships. Im an anxious idiot around men, Far beyond what I would consider "normal nervousness"

and that sounds like something that medication won't really be able to help you with (aside from sedating you into a drugged haze so you no longer care what people think about you).

whereish do you live?

e.g., do you live in a big city like NY or chicago or something (just thinking of treatment options)