Literally wasn't lashing out in any way shape or form. Like there was actually no conceivable way from that response that I feel could be interpreted as anger or aggression. I had an opinion and I expressed it. I have opinions not because I was mistreated as a child. I have opinions because I have a mind and I express them when I wish to just as I would had I had a perfect childhood.

I actually have a large network lovely friendships that are mutual, supportive, and complete healthy, because we can express opinions to each other even if they are negative and we disagree so we can work through them and grow together. Having disagreements and expressing them is good because the more you can understand someone else's opinion, the more opportunity you have to grow your own. Perhaps my relationship with my T is toxic, but that is a totally different situation. I don't have a boyfriend because I'm not ready to have one, but when I do, he and I (hopefully) will share the same type of mutual connection that I share with my friends. If he's angry with me, I'd like him to tell me how he feels and not bottle it up, making me guess. Of course, I don't want him to physically or verbally attack me, but there is a way to express a disagreement that isn't damaging to one's self esteem and I feel that I have been doing this here.

This post isn't me lashing out at you. This post is me standing up for myself by pointing out flaws in your assumption and any heat you detect from this comes from annoyance which is quite frankly appropriate considering the fact that if I say anything other than "yeah maybe you're right", people tell me that I'm lashing out in anger because I was abused as a child. Yet I'm the one who is apparently being dismissive of other people's opinions because I have a mind and I question everything I hear and I have a backbone and I'm willing to stand up for myself.

I appreciate your contribution as well as your sympathy and concern. I'm just curious as to how you would say someone should properly handle anger. Should I sit on it and hope it goes away? Should I complain behind people's backs to hopefully not offend whoever I'm upset with? How am I supposed to deal with anger? I'm not asking this because I think you're stupid or uninformed, I'm asking because I want to share a productive trade of ideas with someone I feel has shared somewhat similar issues around the same time because I've been reading your posts too (sui attempt within a few days of each other in August, not receiving adequate care afterwards, being in and out of the hospital, dealing with no SI contracts, etc). Granted, we have very marked differences but me saying I disagree isn't me calling you stupid, it's me saying I respect your opinion so let's discuss the differences.