My impression from your posts is that you are experiencing severe recurrent "obsessive" thoughts with few or no anxiety-relieving "compulsive" behaviors. You had been self-treating the anxiety created by the obsessive thoughts with cannabis.
A doctor can make a formal diagnosis that opens the possibility of you getting the proper medications to relieve some of the anxiety. A doctor can make a formal referral to a psychiatrist or therapist, who can assess your condition carefully and adjust medications (psychiatrist) and guide you in talk therapy (therapist) to help you cope with your conditions.

As you do not have insurance, local or county agencies may exist to assist you to get the help you need. In the US, 211 may serve as your first step.

Are you capable of making phone calls? Do you have transportation?