Earlier when he was at work I was using his laptop and in the web page history I saw that he visited couples therapy site and psychiatric therapy site. Pleasant surprise to me. But not gonna overreact.
We went shopping. Were normal. And in the eve he called me to Watch a movie. Later in the room I said good night. He ignored it and kept talking about this other couple we know. He then asked if i was fine. I said yeh am ok. Am cool. He was like... cool? Then outta the blue he said. Do u think I did everything I can to fix this. I said it doesn't matter Wat I think it's Wat u think. N the convo went on to about how I'm taking care of myself and have accepted which is y I'm at peace. He said all this feels surreal. I said acceptance Is the key. also said he has been preparing for this for 4 years while i had only 15 days. If i can accept it and believe its real so can he. I sounded wise n at peace.
He asked me how other couples have moved on after infidelity n why we can't. I said I dunno go ask them.
He was talking abt an Xmas gift and I asked him not to fuss and told him I bought this stuff for myself which he can wrap n put under the tree. He said i do aaaalll this and ur still being nice and trying to put ur own gift so i dun appear like a douche. I said what did u do.. nothing... I CHEATED ON U. isnt that y u broke up with me? he said yes.
(Thats the first time hes given me a reason for the break)
He said, I owe it to u that I buy u a gift. I said u dun owe me ANYTHING anymore. Besides this ain't a business transaction.
Everything I said was calm n in control and not at all hurt or victimised or pathetic.
We spoke ... Rather he moped n I spoke in a clear tone and said we shudnt b talking about this. We should look to the future. Then he said he felt like he wasted a good chunk of both our lives. I said we've taught each other valuable lessons. Don't regret this. U did this cuz u were unhappy n we both deserve to be happy. And I'm concentrating on myself now and taking care of me n doing things I enjoy n he said he noticed. He said he's not regretting it
Somewhere in between I said go rest. Get some sleep. He said he's well rested.
He was leaning over the bed cuz I was on the floor and after a long silence I went back to checking my fone n doing my things. After seeing that I am done with talking He mumbled good night very very softly. Had to say PARDON twice before he said it aloud.

Should I see this as an improvement. Or have I pushed him away by being too flippant n totally moved on?

Was tempted to ask why he broke up cuz I cheated when HE TOLD ME JUST 15 DAYS AGO THAT HE'S FORGIVEN ME FOR THAT. 180 forbids me from bringing up relationship topics so bit my tongue.

He knows I'm worried abt how my family will react. So he asked if I told my family. I said I told my sister who in turn offered to tell my folks. He knows that if I tell my folks I really have moved on. I even told him I told sis I cheated on him. He knows I'm v private and for me to tell sis is a huge deal.
Also said if u need anything feel free to contact me and disregard what I said before about not wanting to be in touch. He said thanks.

Did I mess it alllll up.