Thank you so much for your reply. It is sensible, but I have thought about what you said before and made my own conclusions.

There are no other schools for me to study in which there are courses that I'm interested in. There are two other higher education institutions, but one is for polytechnic and another one engineering. The local uni that I might be going to (provided my results are good enough, which I doubt, and I apologise for being so pessimistic) has medicine, and since I want clinical psychology, perhaps i can do something close to it related to medicine, maybe specialising into neuroscience or psychiatry, things like that. Though it really sucks sometimes.

As for the boyfriend, I'm just trying to move on. It's very hard to move on. I just keep getting angry everytime I think about him, and then I try to say he's not worth it, and then I start thinking about him again. Just anger and disappointment all the time. Sometimes I THINK that I've gotten over him, esp when I listen to happy songs and go for a jog (it's free so..) all the endorphin just helps. But then the next day I'd get depressed again.

I do not think it is possible to work for a few months to pay for 4 years of degree studies, perhaps 60,000 bucks per year. So, probably not. I'm just being unrealistic if I keep sulking about going to uni overseas...

Thanks, I won't give up. Your reply meant a lot. But there really isn't much I can do about my situation. Perhaps things will get better for both emotion and academics once I complete my degree and go on for further studies, where there might be scholarships and I had enough time to forget about this ex of mine.