All I want to know is how to move on after a break up. Is there any other tips except for "go out with your friends, be around your friends, work more, make yourself busy"? I know that I lost first and maybe last love of my love and I can't stop picturing him living our dream life with someone else, can not believe that we won't have kids together like we always wanted

Dear lightinthesky

I know how incredibly difficult, painful, heartbreaking and hard it is to move on after a breakup...! People say to stay busy, go out with friends, date go meet someone new but, that is so much easier said then done...! Especially if you were the one who was left... and left without so much as an explanation...
it is so hard to get closure when you really don't know why your partner left...! I was married close to 5 years to a man who was raised in the church his father founded the church and was head Pastor until he passed away approx. two years ago... however, his whole family runs the church his two sisters are pastors and ....?????? for the life of me I can and do not understand how he just left... one morning he went riding with our neighbor and never came back home... he did not tell he wanted to leave or was having issues in our marriage so bad that he wanted to leave it???
He just did not come home... I was frantic thinking something had happened to him as he would not answer his phone or text messages, emails nothing...
I had to wait two days until I called a co-worker of his to see if he was ok...
This co-worker said he was at work and seemed fine... I was beyond hurt, confused and lost... then I got a call from bank about a few returned checks and thought that had to be a mistake, only to find out he had cleared out our accounts, one being a savings account with over $200,000 with was left to me by my fathers Trust... I had been going through some health challenges and was unable to work and he left me high and dry...
penniless with 4 kids to support... I had always contributed financially and made sure his two kids made it through high school and graduated always interacting with teachers and informing his father of things that needed to be done school wise also he his son had some issues with drugs and I was always telling my husband to test him to make sure he was on right path...
but once his youngest graduated poof... he was gone... to this day I still have questions as to why?????? He will not even give me the decency of a one hour counseling session... how could someone be so cold, hard, callous, my home has gone into foreclosure 7 different times in past 2 1/2 years since he has left... he also filed for divorce and I am trying to get am emergency
order of spousal support... I am on food stamps and have no money at all unless I borrow it which has been humiliating... but like a dump *** I still want my husband back or marriage to work... and every couple months or so he will start hitting me up flirting, making me feel as if there might be a chance to work on things only to have him pull me in and then pooffffff...
he's gone again... saying he doesn't know how he feels and ...
I have that fresh wound like he just left yesterday... so mean, uncaring and............. cruel....
please do not waste your valuable time, energy and life waiting for something that is not good and or healthy for you!!!!

>>>>>>>>feeling angry knowing that he is doing much better than me now, that he has taken care of himself when I am so deeply broken.>>>>>>>

I feel so hurt and insignificant that he can just hop in and out of my life so easily without a second thought or ounce of pain... he can just go on without losing any sleep or feeling any pain for us/our marriage...
its just so easy for him... while I on the other hand cry, mourn, grieve and spend hours, days, weeks, months, years professing my undying love and have takin on all the responsibility for the collapse of our marriage even though it was particularly his sneaky, selfish, behaviors that led us to have any marital problems... he would enable his kids and pay for anything and everything and lie to me about everything... in addition he was having an emotional affair the last year while still being with me... which he won't admit to even though I have read all the flirty text messages and got scoop from all his co-workers who are discussed with him...
PLEASE DO NOT WASTE ANYMORE OF YOUR TIME, ENERGY OR HEART OF THIS
MAN OF YOURS... GIVE YOURSELF LOTS OF DISTANCE...
THAT IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO SAVE MYSELF!!!!!!!!

Today was a first day of a psychotherapy, but I still feel dead inside. how do I go through this?