I am so grateful for everyone here at PC for helping me through moments like this! I appreciated all of your comments and suggestions. I went back and forth many times over what I should do. In the end, I left her a voicemail asking if I could e-mail her; after thinking about it for awhile I got very worried that she would be frustrated over my lack of trust for her. I have frustrated her at least once in the past and I have only a few months left with her, so I felt guilty and regretful for not just taking a chance. But at the same time, I didn't want to e-mail without asking her permission. So I left the voicemail, and she e-mailed me in response very quickly, and said "You're welcome to email me, if you'd find it helpful. See you in a few weeks. Have a safe and peaceful break." I guess it went well, though I'm a tiny bit embarrassed for making such a production out of it. Now I feel like I could have waited. Oh well, I'm sure we'll have a conversation about all of this when I get back. It was strange to e-mail her for the first time. It was like I saw a test of what our relationship really is. Anyway, at least I don't have to feel guilty over the break.