I am sorry you all suffer with this. It is challenging for us all. I don't recommend "flooding" method, but I had to do a lot wound cleaning, and over my share of incontinence care with patients, and illnesses in human and animals in my life. I don't recall any of it pleasant at all. I do recall how grateful and appreciative the recipients were for a caring hand, some care and kindness. I truly understand because I've been there too.
Jade