Hi Everyone-
I just recently started coming back to PC after being away for a while.

I was hospitalized in November for my depression and it was then that I was diagnosed with bipolar. I have been doing better. My pdoc has me on lithium and lamictal and last week I started the emsam patch for my depression. Well, my depression has gotten worse. I feel like I'm back to square one. It seemed like for awhile that I might actually be doing better and now I don't know. I feel so lost. I called my pdoc's office this morning to tell them about the worsening depression and then he called me back, but told me it probably wasn't from the patch and to keep using it. I trust him so that's what I'm going to do. However, this depression is so bad. I feel like something has sucked the life out of me. I've been sleeping a lot and I am so irritable and can't seem to focus on anything or get anything done. I am so afraid that everyone around me will just get tired of having to deal with me like this.

Thanks for letting me vent. I also have trouble with self-injury which gets much worse when I am like this. So, I'm trying to write my feelings and thoughts out.

I just want to not feel so alone in all of this. It is such a scary place to be. I keep having dreams of having to go back into the hospital and it scares me to think about it.

Thanks for listening...
valerie