grey, I am dealing with similar circumstances, with the exception of chronic issues with degenerative disks. They have taken over the last 8 years 5 disk and fused with hardware and cadavera bone. I have had been using (my opinion) the best doctors, I am now facing more surgeries and found that now I am developing blockages in atreries, dealing with depression from beng the man of steel, and literally becoming the man of steel. I have gone from being very athletic hunk of a man and reduced to a skinny, wore out 80 year old body. (Im only 57), The rehab only aggrevated my condition, the work I do has aggrevated my condition, but the depression is becoming so prominent, that I just hurt from it alone., Im not eat, sleeping and trying to get through to the doctors ( due mostly from those who abuse drugs) that I need to be out of pain in order to feel like doing anything is like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. It's causing me to not be able to concentrate, focus on anything and frankly, I am begining to loose my abilty to fight for life any more. DONT get me wrong, I'm here because I am running out of resorses. and just the fact that I am here shows that I haven't quit, and thats sooo easy to do, but not on my to do list as of yet. I PRAY, (dont know if that is allowed on here) but I thank Him for another chance at today, "EVERYDAY", I dont want to hurt anyone around me, but I dont want my wife to watch me deteriorate to a 80lb nothingness either, or cause her a long drawn out death either.
I am open to any and all suggestions for tools for coping with my illnesses, Im afraid to approach doctors for my depression due to the "MENTAL ILLNESS" lableing. since that may have bad concequences for the future, like a regestry for mentally ill people.
I'm open to any recommendations.