I think I am very tired of trying to monitor myself so much. I won't do really bad things but I'll do a lot of little things that strain relationships and go outside of the bounds of things I would do in my right mind. It feels like these little things will soon grow into big things.
I feel like I am rarely baseline lately and I'm questioning a lot of my decisions and feelings, like I want a baseline moment to evaluate everything I am doing right now to see if its what I want, not what my mood wants. There are lots of reasons to want to go on meds and lots not to, I just can never reach a decision. I have tried many different avenues of avoiding meds and achieving some normalcy, combinations of good sleeping, strict diet, exercise, I never achieved it though.
I like to know as much information about a something before I make a decision for myself on it. I'm more asking for your experiences, not for advice and questions about what I have done/am doing.