..I am now afraid to write my thoughts...

I fail to differentiate between healthful mind and dangerous mind...

I certainly know that my form of mania is an emotional violence...

something that when I settle down I realise is too overwhelming

I wish deep down that I could occupy this crazy state and wobble around fearless with my tiny hands trying to grip this outstanding occurrence..

and sneaky ever so sneaky my hands crawl out of this illness manifestation!...

on my way to fall free-fall into a million accidents and still survive

....I blame me I blame everyone trying to blame me...

I suffocate in the emotional chasm...

and emerge on the other side

...carefully identifying the difficulties that collect all my hugs...

and beneath pain I arrived incredible I don't hurt no more....

my humanity has collapsed...

My illness has been too damaged...

my love is real

My insecurities have perished...

I survive...

the bits of me that I need