ouch!
of course it is bad
BAD BAD BAD!!!

hard for me to open up as a newbie..
i would just say that you NEED to go to a good psycologist!
some kind of tehrapy.

i don`t say you are totally f**ked up. don`t get me wrong! but i know what you are talking about. and it IS bad! a bad habbit.
can you say what`s causing this action?