Very depressed. Bullying boss was reassigned/demoted after making my life a living hell for months and causing me to go out on leave; while initially thrilled, it now seems his successor is bringing his own assistant which leaves me out of a job. My coworkers haven't even contacted me to say I'm being thought about, including the two I was most friendly with. Had a great interview with another company this past Thursday and was very hopeful; received a "we regret to inform you..." email last night at 9:35pm which made me cry. While I'm currently on a paid "administrative leave", I'm worried sick about a future income and medical benefits. I'm so weary of every aspect of having to have a job.

And dread going over to the DP's family for Christmas Day - his brother's wife and her clique of kids clearly don't care for me and treat me as a leper, others will be happy and I just am not, many of them have retired with nice nest eggs, the younger ones are having babies and buying McMansions, and when someone asks me about my job I'll probably start to sob.

Going to the post office yesterday to send a friend a gift card for Christmas set off a litany of memories of really nice gifts I've given to friends over the years and either received nothing in return, not even a card, or something cheesy with no thought given to it. It's amazing how these memories still hurt after all these years.

Life just hurts, but especially at Christmas.