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Originally Posted by penguinh
Most of my anxiety is due to high expectations I have on my academics. Unfortunately, because I've become so stressed and anxious, my academic performance has actually declined and I've been skipping class a lot (not important lessons, of course). Both my psychiatrist and therapist have told me that I need to loosen up and let go a bit in school but I don't know how. For those of you that have been through this, how do you deal with it? How do I let go and be ok with 80s without feeling fear and regret? I feel like I'm going to mess up my future and regret it for the rest of my life if I become ok with this.
My teachers have received a psych note from my psychiatrist explaining my diagnose of GAD and MDD but none of them have acknowledged it or talked to me about it. They all still expect the same of me and treat me no differently. Maybe it's because I don't break down in school and I put on a strong act but this is killing me inside. I don't even know what I'm fighting for anymore. I'm just stuck between thinking what's the point in trying and fear of regretting this in the future. I'm so conflicted and have no idea what to do anymore. I honestly just want to drop out of school and run away from my problems. Any advice?
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Yes, step back and evaluate this scenario. Try to stick to the facts, first.
You have GAD. This is making it impossible for you to do your best on tests under the situation given.
Speak to your professors, or first to the school counselor and set up ACCOMMODATIONS for test taking. You may need a separate time to take them, more time to take them, a different setting (room) or even have the questions verbally given to you along with being able to read them. All of these things can help a person ground himself and focus better.
Don't run away. Anxiety makes us want to do that...or as it is now explained: fight, flight, freeze... one of those. It appears if you don't take flight, your brain freezes in some way, making it difficult to finish tests well.
Put the onus onto your disorder, don't take it personally. If you are truly studying, and paying attention in class (and note if your GAD is causing difficulty in taking notes, ACCOMMODATIONS can also provide someone to take notes for you, so you have all the material to study) then changing the environment for testing should help you.
The main thing is to learn the information you want and need to know, right? Don't get caught in the trap of having to learn it in the same way other people do--- many of the greats learned in their own way.
Now, breathe... and see what you can change to help you.
Finally, realize that a grade is only measuring what you were able to know and remember and access that particular time period. If it's passing, then remind yourself that it is good because you did your best for the time and situation. Once you've graduated few will point to a few test grades and say, but wait you can't be an adult because of those grades---