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Dec 21, 2013, 07:47 PM
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Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: NM
Posts: 349
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seth412
So in my recent drawn out depression (what is likely a mixed episode), I've had some very strange ideation.
In addition to the usual suicide scenarios, I've been dreaming up grandiose ideas about being a career criminal. More importantly, a famous criminal with a nickname known by all.
Now, I'm not thinking of harming anyone. More like the Oceans 11 variety.
While I know I won't act on it, it's very strange to me that such thoughts find their way into my head. I observe the law very closely. I don't even speed!
What are some strange and wild ideations you've had in the midst of a manic/depressed/mixed episode?
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I don't know if this was an episode or not but it sure sounds like one! A goading "friend" got me to read an anti-psychiatric book. It scared me to death and I contacted a lot of people, mainly family and a coupla friends and could not express my fear, just told them to never, ever see a psychiatrist and other odd things. The Goader tried to tell me that eating the right food and vitamins would cure me, which I did not believe after a while. She also told me that a "practitioner" could get me off of psych meds. LOL I found that there was no such thing. I did know that a doctor was the only one who could help me. I saw one that was awful. I also got involved with a horrible young man. I was an anxious mess and thought I would have to commit suicide and I knew how I'd do it, too. It was horrible, of course. I banished the Goader from my life as soon as I got it together again, after 5 months of seeing a lousy psychologist whose only conclusion was that I had anxiety and 4 months of seeing a fantastic therapist at a crisis center who said I had PTSD. Yes, I had both of those and more! I think I'm still recovering from all of this and more, but I now have a good pdoc and a therapist I'll start seeing in January.
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