Hello, I haven't been on here in a little while. But I am back because it was just the one year "anniversary" of the 1st and 2nd time my abuser R*P** me. And it brought back All the emotions and memories. I almost killed myself before because I couldn't cope with the painful memories. And I'm not quite that bad off right now, but it's becoming very difficult to resist the temptation to take out my feelings on myself by SI.
I've been a good girl and haven't self harmed or anything in roughly 5 months. So I really would like to keep that up. I don't want to make things worse for myself, but at the same time I want to SI and forget everything else.

Not to mention all the other pains this "anniversary" has caused me.
I am constantly shaking because I see him everywhere I go. I can't go on dates with my boyfriend because I'm scared of him, just because he is a guy. I can't sleep without waking up in terror and tears. I zone out all the time an go back to when it happened. I have to watch it happen over and over again. I CANT TAKE IT!!
Someone please help me