Hi everyone!

I am struggling with leaving a relationship which has been very painful for me. I have been in the relationship for four years, and my husband's actions have escalated. I started to suspect that he was emotionally abusing me about two years ago, by the way he talked to me and treated me. A few months ago, he started slapping me and other acts of physical aggression when had big arguments--it wasn't a lot, and it wasn't like he beat me up, just would throw me, push me, slam the door on me, he did hit me with a shoe once and he slapped me on the face three times, more or less.

After reading lots of websites on this topic I keep coming across one area that I'm confused about. Everything says that abusers try to control you, but this hasn't been my case. He has never really monitored who I'm with or what I do...as far as I know he seems to trust me more or less. Also, he is always the one using the "It's over" card when we argue, and while he's never actually left me he's threatened to do so a lot and acts like he'd be better off without me.

So my question is this....is it still emotional abuse if he's not exactly controlling? I have to say that I moved to another country for him, to live where his friends and family do, so that in a way he has taken me from friends and family....just never explicitly so.

Sometimes I feel like I'm unfairly labeling him or judging him. Everyone else in the world thinks that he is so wonderful, deep, handsome, spiritual, etc, and I just can't believe that this same man can be treating me so horribly. I feel like I must really be doing something wrong to deserve it, and it makes me scared to leave him. I'm so scared of being alone and feel that I'll never meet anyone else...

Someone please help!