Thanks so much shezbut,
I have been working with a psychologist for the past 7-8 years now. She is great. We have worked on some of my grief from my brother's suicide, not a lot though. I don't even know what to say half the time. Sometimes I feel like I am getting on with my life, which I am in some ways, and other times I feel like I am stuck on the day that found out. I also went to a Grief group for people who lost someone suddenly like suicide, murder, or car accident. I only made it to about 3 of the sessions as was not ready to share my story yet.
Thanks also for the article. I had never seen that before and it helps in that I don't need to judge myself about where am at with my grief. I miss my brother like crazy and I know he isn't coming home, just hard to come to grips with that I will never get to say good-bye to him. There is no closure for me.
I have had a few more deaths since then. My grandfather passed away a year ago and a good friend of mine lost his battle with cancer. I was able to say good-bye to them at the funeral. I was able to see them and talk to them. With my brother there was no open casket or any way for me to see him. He had already been cremated and from what my dad said, he's unrecognizable. Also haven't been able to see his family in a year and there are no future plans for seeing them. She has moved on and the kids from what I hear are doing well. I just pray they still have their dad in their hearts.

Jen