Because of Xmas, l have managed to get a weeks break from T. It feeIs almost exciting b be able to indulge myself in my "behaviours", yet when l think of T l feel deceitful and ashamed. My logical head tells me to stop being silly, but l also feel ''buzzy" and more upbeat and after months of feeling so low, this is such a welcome break from that darkness. What a difficult choice to make.