In terms of facing your problems, getting out of bed in the morning is just that, facing your problems. When I am depressed I expect myself to behave as if I am not but cutting myself some slack and understanding that I am doing the best I can today helps.

I think that working on your healing as you are doing is working on forgiving yourself. My thoughts feel all over the place so hang in there with me if you can... You say that you need to forgive yourself in order to face your problems but I think that you can face your problems first and that can be a step toward forgiving yourself. Perhaps as you get better you will give yourself some sympathy and understanding in terms of how you did do your best then even if it involved hurting others. Basically like others have said you would be able to give yourself a break for doing the things you did before by knowing it was the best you could do at that level of your healing.

I too feel/have felt really bad about who I have been. Now that I am more on the road toward healing I can look back some and think "wow those years before were so hard for me. I messed up. I let folks down. I can't change that I can only hope to use the time I do have to be healthy and make better choices for myself and those I love" As I accept my illness more I can accept that I didn't do all that stuff because I am some terrible person, it's because I needed help, doctors and healing. Hope that made sense and was helpful