Life isn't always what you would hope. I'm fifty and have to borrow from my parents who are 80. I didn't go back to college until I was in my late twenties, having started and dropped out more than once. It can be embarrassing, and definately makes you feel guilty.

When I finally went back to college, and stayed there, I emerged eight years later with a veterinary degree. Three years after that, I was hit with a chronic pain condition that leaves me isolated and barely able to work. Every time I e-mail my parents for a "loan", I feel like throwing up. I live with a friend, without whom I would be on the street. When people come over, I hide out in my room.

There are a lot of things in life that can stop you in your tracks. It really doesn't matter if its physical or emotional. As long as well live in a society that expects us to be independent and looks down upon those of us who can't seem to live up to expectations, we are going to live with a certain amount of guilt. I do understand your anger and disappointment. There may come a time when you are able to break free and go forward, but even if you can't, you aren't alone in your situation. It feels that way, and the self loathing is hard to kick, but keep trying.

Sam2