Thanks guys really. I've been realising how self centred he's been recently and saw how blind I was. I was never allowed to talk to him. Talking or saying anything caused a fight. The cheating was an outlet for me and if he can use that as an excuse to break up I can only see how blinded and self absorbed he is.

Have come to a point where I'm slowly starting to dislike him which is sad for me. Looking at his flaws helps me move on. But it's also making me dislike him.
It's a catch 22. All my friends n sis with who I've now shared the gory details think I'm a clown to have been with him this long