The holidays for me, as with others, are difficult emotionally. I've been depressed having to go to group and be exposed to the holiday season, in the past I used to survive by not leaving my house unless absolutely necessary. But since I'm going to group three days a week, I'm exposed to be around it. Yesterday was rough, and Monday and Tuesday I told them I wouldn't come.

I told my former room mate of 20 years about it and she got really irritated and said she didn't realize what a Scrooge I was. I didn't understand how she could say that since I never hid the fact.

This morning, my sister started asking me about why Christmas offended me so. I told her of course, childhood Christmas' were bad, but even as an adult, they were miserable affairs. Partly due to my room mates attitude.

The more I thought about what she used to do, the more emotional I got. So I emailed her and explained how she used to make me dread the holiday. I was angry and admitted how I felt angry and hurt and blamed her for part of my holiday misery.

I told her I was sorry if I hurt her feelings, didn't blame her for my entire emotional response but felt like she needed to take responsibility for what she did that hurt and angered me.

Now I'm worried I lost a good friend because I was too emotional. I was honest, but we live in different states and what happened is in he past. I feel horrible. And I'm terrified she won't want anything to do with me.