Sorry this is long. So just a little background, my mom and I have always been pretty close especially since I got married and became more of an adult. Before i was married she was really hard on me constantly. I grew up in a very anxiety filled high emotion household where my mom's way of communicating was yelling and guilt trips. Most of the pressure was always on me and not my brother even though my brother was the one always making mistakes and not ever caring what my parents thought. They expected a lot from me and when i didnt agree with them even on the most simplest things, I was punished.

Well about 5 months ago my husband and i separated. We call ourselves divorced because the only thing that is keeping us "married" is a piece of paper that takes until April to go through. We have been like roommates for years now and did not have a marriage. So needless to say, it was easy for both of us to move on quickly. He met someone quickly and so did I. But ever since my separation, my mom has been overbearing. Trying to give me money. Expecting i call her back everyday within hours. Lecturing me on every day decisions i make. If i dont call her back right away she wants to know what is going on in my life even thoughw e talk all the time and i tell her everything. Because of my separation i needed distance and asked for that respect and she didnt follow. Mind you im 30 yrs old. I told her things are hard fo rme right now and i need some space to figure things out. So thanksgiving comes around and im with her from 12 pm to 8pm. All day. She wanted me to spend the night and i told her i wasnt feeling good and wanted to sleep in my own bed. So she began yelling and asked me to leave and wanted to know what else could i have going on. So endedup having no choice but to leave. Now xmas is here, im closer with my new man and yes its moving fast and we r thinking of living together (but there are multiple reasons for that which is another story). She has never met him and i told her i would like to bring him over for xmas mainly because he doesnt have family here and nowhere to go and i feel its wrong to leave him alone on xmas even though he says its ok. I told her he means a lot to me and regardless if she thinks its too fast, she should put that aside and support me. She refused and told me not to bother to even come by for a few hours on my own. She told me im pushing them away and choosing someone over her and that she hopes i have a good life. All sarcasm. She constantly makes everything i do about her. She says she respects me as an adult but then I feel like to try and control the situation and manipulate me, she does things to hurt me and punish me like the xmas thing. We are now alone on xmas. She puts these guilt trips and i feel horrible and dont understand why me choosing to be with someone and being happy has anything to do with my relationship with her. Im still the same daughter and a damn good one. Im a good person too. And im 30 yrs old and i just dont feel like her attachment to me is healthy. So ive considered separating and not talking to her for awhile. not healthy to talk everyday and tell her everything. i need to live my own life and be away from her awhile i think. not to mention im bipolar and this kind of stress can cause a relapse for me like it did last year. but even knowing all this, i still feel guilt