Last week was a really, really hard week for me. I look back on it now and realize I was doing really bad. I'm better today, but not fully. My mind is still racing but not nearly as fast.

I'm nervous about Christmas Eve. We're going to my step-mom's which is fine and all, except... it's the first holiday at her house that my dad wont' be there. It just seems so alien to me. Both me and my husband were talking about how it still doesn't feel real. Like, it feels like I'll walk in over there and he'll just be sitting in his chair and give me a lecture that I didn't call or visit for 2 months.