Trying to find some kind of joy in life...anywhere. Well, other than Bart the cat.

Christmas with my oldest is never something I enjoy. I would venture four hour North to my other daughters house, but the weather is so unpredictable and the thought of crossing the mountains in the snow is not something I want to do...done that, didn't like it. They have a high tomorrow of 25, low 8 with snow.

I lived up there for a couple of years...love the snow and winter. We have snow here too, but most sleet.

My daughter here just asked me on the phone to bring a dish for dinner. Then called two minutes later to say never mind. I am confident my daughters husband vetoed the idea when heard her say that to me.

Also told her I have been sick since yesterday at noon...she thanked me for the vision. This is the child of mine that if I should ever be in the ER or Crisis Intervention, I would NOT allow to be called. I can find compassion from an acquaintance before my daughter would issue such emotion to me.

The most interesting part of this relationship is that I am the sitter for my very autistic grandson. Most of the time I feel like a necessity.

The only emotion I get from her is out of obligation, I don't even think she likes me, which us painful. I consider asking hr just that, but I fear the answer. I was in the ER for cardiac reasons not long ago...such and obvious inconvenience...it was a day off work and she had better things to do.

So, I will sit right here until Wednesday morning while the world passes me by outside.