Yellow, it sounds like you try to fix her problems by saying she can't have ADHD in the first place. It's very circular reasoning. Like just get organized so you can manage your ADHD, when getting organized IS the problem in her ADHD.

I don't have the up and go that many others have. There is no "just do it" in my life. She probably has to focus hard and use up a lot of energy just to use the tools that will help her.

I think maybe you make it worse by adding your own anxiety about her future and how awful it will be if she cannot overcome all her aspects of ADHD. That doesn't really create a safe environment for you or her.