LD

{{{{{{{{Lady Dragus}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry for all of this.

I usually have helpful answers for this kind of thing (not answers really, just ways to help my friends make their decisions) but I know how much depression clouds these issues.

I would hate to see you give up school after working so hard and doing so well. Generally though I usually acknowledge that there is also no harm in changing one's mind... it sometimes takes a lot of strength to realize when something isn't really what you want and to make that choice for change when it is so so so much easier to stick with the status quo. The problem with depression is it makes it really hard to make sense of our true wants and desires, which we have to tap into to make those difficult decisions.

You don't have to make a decision right now do you? Can you finish out the semester, do your best, and then think about how you want to proceed? Also if you do decide you need a break, can you take a semester off and then pick up rather than quitting altogether?

It really sounds like the most important issue right now is your depression and I think you need to do whatever might be best for that. It is good that your boyfriend is supportive even if that just makes it more confusing right now. Since he is willing to support you either way maybe he can help in some ways to help you decide. Maybe like help you with a list of pros and cons? Or maybe planning something so that you can be free of thinking of school for a few days so that maybe you're mind will be clearer and better able to decide?

I don't seem to be able to do much more than ramble lately

I think mostly you should realize how well you have been doing, in life and in school, and whatever decision you make things will turn out OK, you have a lot of strength and have been using it wisely, plus you have the support of your boyfriend and don't forget your wedding coming up.

You have been working really hard and you have had a lot of success. Do what you need to for yourself... whether that be to continue with school, to take a break, or to just not decide right now.

And once a long while ago, when I had some very bad problems in my life and was considering leaving school and returning home, after talking with a counselor, she advised me at the end that whatever I decided didn't have to be permanent... I could always change my mind later on if I thought I my choice wasn't working out for me.

That took a huge burden off of me and helped me make up my mind.

Good luck... we love you here and want the best for you.

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