You hit the nail on the head, I have used the same words so many times before and wonder if anyone can relate.

The world is too much for me most of the time, I'm articulate and bright and I just can't understand why I'm so affected and weak and fearful....I've often thought I'm just not cut out the way others are to deal with the world, the people, the issues, the badness, the ruins---life.

I've fought like hell, most my life to maintain control over my feelings and have just resorted to antidepressants for the anxiety and depression I couldn't shrug off. Feeling weak and artificial too...I tell my t this feels so "fake". Funny, I'm not alone on this. Why am I not better equipped?

I ask her (my t) if some people are just born "marked" or if we become so during our youth, so as to never remove the stains. I feel ppl can 'smell' or sense this inside me making me always show others of my weaknesses, even when i try to save face. I tell her so many others are this way, we are so affected by everything, it hurts and it hurts and it is so heavy....