Quote:
Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
danvb-
Well, texting wasn't really my idea—that was how he chose to communicate with me and I just thought that that was what he was comfortable with. I'd rather talk to him face to face but we live almost an hour apart and during the winter, it's too dangerous to travel where we live a lot of the time. I was just trying to come up with an alternative mode of communication to use in between times we could see each other. I suggested other forms of communication but he seemed rather adamant about keeping things the way they already were, so I respect that (even though I agree, texting isn't for conversations).
Also, to complicate things further, I will likely be getting my doctorate starting next fall and sometime in the near future he'll be getting his doctorate. And if there is something there between us (as in a relationship), at some point we may be on different sides of the country for all I know. I know, I know, that's thinking way into the future, but still…
Also, back to the actual conversation, if I say exactly how I feel, it tends to get me into trouble. That and I still don't know the best way to begin…if I say "we need to talk", then that seems to signify that they're in trouble, but I'm not mad—just confused. I'm afraid that without using the correct words to communicate how I feel, I will lose even the possibility for a friendship as I come across as…well, I don't even know how I come across. I just know that being open and honest is the ideal, but isn't a good idea with most people.
Useless Me-
That's actually pretty good advice…if I get my courage up, I may send him a message similar to that.
|
The "we need to talk" usually implies a serious conversation that is weightier. I agree that this is probably some line of text you should avoid at this point.. don't even bring it up. just let him know that you're interested in hearing from him. Sometimes I will send messages to friends out of the blue, I will just say "hope you're having a wonderful (day, night, weekend.. etc) Just thought I'd drop a line and let you know that you've crossed my mind. I'm here if you want to say hi (or something to that effect)." Its not pushy, it lets him know you thought of him and it opens the door to a reply without forcing anything on him. once the conversation is started you can bring up the more important things, but I don't think it's something you should focus on yet. It's all new and you dont' want to put too much pressure on this relationship. I know I'm terrible at this and I am convicting myself as I type.. because I break this rule all the time but I know still that it's not a good thing
Anyway.. keep things light and let the conversation flow... get to know him and relax a little.
As for other methods because you can't see each other I suggest skype. Either for voice alone or voice and webcam so you could at least hear and possibly see each other. I don't do this often but this is something I think might work for you.
