I can understand your perspective. Don't mind me, I tend to be a "mediating" type that kind of offers alterntive perspectives to things people pose in forums adn elsewhere. it's just my nature and never take it as if I am saying you are wrong or way off.. If I thought so, if you know my way.. I would say so

He certainly may have been an overbearing person and controlling, maybe even abusive. There is plenty of that crap going on. Even my ex, I would say could be deemed as abusive but I just refuse to accept that I was a victim and won't let it happen again