I'm afraid I have to agree that people tend not to pay attention to the pain behind the lie. The first time I attempted suicide, it took hours to stabalize me and I spent the night in the intensive care unit. The next morning, two shrinks came in and talked to me. I told them everything was fine, it was a mistake and I wasn't depressed. No questions asked. Too much trouble I guess. They said fine and sent me on my way.

Depression, anger and SI make people uncomfortable. They would rather not get into a discussion about it and its easier to ignore what is obviously under the smile. For the average person, its understandable. For therapists, its unforgivable. At least in my book.

Having been depressed, suicidal and SI for decades, I've come to the conclusion that its not death persay that is wanted. Just a release of the pain and isolation. There are times when living seems like too much trouble. You never know what is around the corner though. Finding the right therapist and possibly the right medication might go a long way in helping you figure out why you feel the way you do. No one wants to feel that bad, and its hard to keep going when every step seems to take all the energy you have. Things will change. They may never be wonderful, but the feelings change and the anger isn't so sharp as time goes on. You learn to deal with people's reactions or lack there of.

Don't give up on yourself. The fact that you are in treatment says that someone cares. It may not feel like that now, but it would be easier for the problem to have been completely ignored. Someone noticed your pain or you wouldn't be where you are.

Sam2