(((Anthony))),

You are still a very young man yet and this relationship took place over a span of years where you were growing up a lot and this kind of breakup can be very hard to deal with.
But hun, while I know you feel very empty right now, you have so much growing to do yet and this stage is much different from before too. You definitely need to grieve this, but as you do so, remember, be thankful this is not happening to you when you are 45 or 50 and you invested so much more than you have. And just because you see friends get married and seem happy doesn't mean their relationships will stand the test of time either. Try not of disillusion yourself by assuming others have so much more than you do, because hun, that can change so much down the road to where you see a very different picture of those around you.

Hmm, you are in illustrator, how awesome, I hope you spend more time with that, develop yourself differently now too. Maybe go back to school, take a few classes where you may meet someone else into the arts?

Please do your best to not feed into these gloomy thoughts too. That is trying to punish others, punish self, and you have way too much life to live yet to take those thoughts seriously. The "right" soul mate may be just around the corner in your life and would be awful if you missed it, or that other person missed out on finding you too. Give this some time hun.

(((Caring Hugs)))
OE