First, I have a serious self-esteem problem. Intellectually, I can recognize many great things about myself and that people appreciate me. Emotionally, this makes no difference. I go back and forth between hating myself and feeling nothing at all about myself.

Second, I'm 37, never married, and have never had a romantic relationship or felt a meaningful connection with another person (except my nephew who just tuned 4). I don't seem to fit any of the categories that such people are usually put into.

I've been in love once, unspoken and unrequited. I am outgoing (ENFP), Mensa-level intelligent, and have no trouble approaching, talking to, being friends with, or having sex with women. I've had dozens of short term partners and lots of female friends, but never have the two overlapped.

Lots and lots of times I have pursued romance with someone, but it always gets to a point where she seems to sense something she doesn't like, and I get the "you're a great guy, even the most amazing person I've ever met" (on a couple of occasions), and "someone will come along for you, you're a great catch" speech.

I also have trouble with friendships. I have lots of friends, but nothing approaching a best friend, and I am almost always the one who initiates contact to do something.

I had serious problems with recurring depression from age 17 to age 32, and have been in "remission" for 4 years now, but I'm still cripplingly lonely.

My weight as an adult has also fluctuated greatly, but I have never had an issue with substance abuse (other than sugar/food).

Any ideas on where I should turn?

Even the slightest bit of help would be greatly appreciated.