That's what I thought…about the "we need to talk" line. I also want to talk to him in person rather by text etc. Just letting him know I'm interested in hearing from him isn't effective (or it scares him off, I don't know). I've already tried that, but I still have to start every conversation that isn't person to person. In fact, he'll only start a conversation if I'm already close enough to start a conversation with me, otherwise I approach him. I just want to know if there's any interest at all or if we're just friends…so I can move on and like someone else if I ever find someone else that I feel safe around (well, for guys anyway). If I text him, he could just ignore it/not reply to it. In person at least he's more likely to provide some sort of answer. Or we can have some sort of conversation about it…

I don't want to put pressure on the "relationship" either (there is no relationship really), but if I don't, it will never go anywhere—not even as a friendship. It's too stressful and unrewarding to do all the initiating. So I just want to know if there's anything there or if there's anything possible there and if there is, I want to communicate to him that there needs to be more of a balance between who initiates conversation. If he has no feelings for me whatsoever, then he has completely led me on, and I would like to just get closure so I can like someone else.

Also, I've asked about Skype several times. I don't think it's going to happen. He says something about it not working or he doesn't remember his username/password. He probably just doesn't want to use Skype.

And if he DOESN'T like me that way (and if it's been clear to him the whole time), he may be afraid to tell me. I did mention during a conversation that I have a temper and will unleash hell if provoked. I just thought it was a fair warning in case he saw me get mad at someone else or something else (not necessarily him) and thought that I needed to be hospitalized or something because I'm always so "whatever" about everything. That and I'm more in control of my random outbursts of extreme anger. I guess I should have explained that it was more in control (probably because of meds) and that I don't mad unless someone is messing with me or my own with deliberate, malicious intent. If it's not clearly on purpose, I don't think I'd get any more than annoyed, if even that. I'd probably just shrug and go, "It's cool dude, $@!% happens" and go on with my day. Or release my anger towards something else (like a video game) instead of that person because there's no reason to get mad if they did something by accident (except if someone causes a car accident or breaks one of my instruments, I may be legitimately pissed at that point even if it was an accident).

Anyway, it's difficult for me to explain anything without writing a novel about it (if you can't tell from my posts) and it's even worse when speaking to someone because I tend to forget important bits that would make everything actually make sense to people. That and I can be difficult to understand when I talk because I can't remember the names of people, places, or things often. That, plus I talk too fast and I have a slight speech impediment. When I write posts/e-mails etc., I have a dictionary and a thesaurus handy (and google) so I can remember everything that I can't and actually sound like I know what I'm talking about. I don't know if it's nerves or some sort of ADD or something, but I'm not as good at verbal communication than written communication. But I can't say everything I want to say via text for obvious reasons. I can't use e-mail because if he checks at all, it may be like once a week and then he doesn't reply unless reminded to.