... sometimes it isn't so much a matter of not giving in to sad thoughts and feelings as it is acknowledging that you're feeling sad and thinking sad thoughts... accepting that you're feeling and thinking sad... and then telling those sad thoughts that they can come back later, but right NOW... this VERY INSTANT... you choose to concentrate on the warm shower water that's spraying on your back... or being fascinated by the spider that's crawling up the wall... or focusing on reading the ingredients on the side of your cereal box... or noticing the way the sun shines on the windows of the building across the street... WHATEVER it is that's occupying that very instant is what you focus on... I mean, you have a whole lifetime to feel sad about what's happened. So, what's the rush? You can tell yourself, "I think my sadness needs to give me a little room right now... it can come back later, but right this MOMENT I choose to be elsewhere". Ya know, it's OK to bargain with yourself too... "Hey sadness and lonliness, I promise to invite you both into my heart a little bit later when it feels right for me, but right now, I want to be alone with myself without you bothering me..." And that's what you do. Later on, if you feel up to it, you can wrap yourself in your pain and allow yourself to feel really, really bad... but then, you know that that was part of the deal you made with yourself... and YOU are in control of when you will allow yourself to feel really bad. It's ok to treat yourself to a rotten feeling once in a while, but for the most part, you CAN let yourself know that you choose to focus on whatever is happening in the immediate NOW... and the next NOW... and the Next... for as long as it takes for the sadness and despair to pass.

I am the master of my fate.
I am the captain of my soul...

Those are meaningful words to live by.

Dan