Quote:
Originally Posted by NWgirl2013
I hope you feel better. Ranting does help sometimes. Good questions all. I was simply encouraging you to follow through with your idea but not weigh it down with a bunch of emotion. It is generally not the best way to start out. That comes later, after a certain amount of trust is gained. Personal information is not general information. Opening a floodgate of personal stuff is not the way to be open, honest & genuine. It is however more likely to scare someone off if they are considering what you bring to the table & you lead with all your history/problems. TMI is just that. They probably want to get to know other things about you first, just as you would likely not want to know all the dirt about someone as a way to "get close". You are looking for the good in someone right? Those shared interests, common goals. I think everyone wants to get to know our best selves first, just as we want to get to know theirs. That is not a bad thing.
Being attractive does help, as you know, but it is not everything.
And to your question, yes, it goes both ways, don't you think? If someone/anyone is interested in pursuing another, they will. Sure, people can be shy, or whatever, but if they are truly interested in being with someone, they will figure out a way to do that. I believe this is basic human nature. That's all.
You are interested in this guy, I think he may know that, based on the number of texts & attempts by you. It all sounds pretty healthy. But again, try not to lay too much out there at the beginning. It is not being dishonest, it is putting your best foot forward, as they say.
I hope he will respond favorably and clearly to you. No one likes to have to second guess what is going on.  |
Sadly, I don't feel better. I've been feeling more bothered by my gender identity which will make it more difficult to feel like I won't be rejected by a male. Or even be understood. But that's a different thing altogether.
I tried not to talk about those things, but I felt too comfortable. I didn't really give much away and caught myself before I fully disclosed anything, but what am I supposed to say when asked what I meant by having an up and down week? If I start saying that I can't talk about this or that or that it's none of his business, then it looks like I'm hiding something. Well, technically I am, but it just makes me look worse.
How can you be open, honest, and genuine if you can't even be yourself. I mean, I've "feminized" myself so it at least it would look like I liked guys and maybe guys might like me, but with the vast majority of people, you can't talk about that stuff meaning no matter what I do, I'll never be open, honest, and genuine. Especially since I have no idea who I am…no one else knows either.
When you feel comfortable with a person, you start telling stories and will accidentally refer to something that may be negative and then you can catch yourself before you go too far, but you can't take it back…
I've already ruined this, so I should just let it go. I have a future career to get married to and maybe I can have some cats for "children". I should have never wasted my time letting myself even try to relate to another human being in any way past platonic friendship. I always ruin it and I always ruin it this quickly. I think this is probably the best attempt I've ever had, but I had to constantly ask people what I'm supposed to do or say next because I know whatever I think I should say or do is going to be wrong.
Some people are just not lovable in a romantic sort of way at least…I'm clearly one of those people. It's my fate to be alone.
I'll be lucky if he ever talks to me again. I don't think I should say anything, I'll just make it worse. Unless there's someone there whispering exactly what to say in my ear.